My words drain through your mind

Leaving behind

The things you wanted to hear

Draining out the fear

In my voice

.

Whispered hopes

Are caught in the ropes

Of your mind, like catching a fish

Or blowing a wish

To get away from the noise

.

I didn’t intend to hurt

Or make your situation worse

But I won’t mention

That actions speak louder than intentions

And so I am sorry

.

I hope the hope you strained

Is enough to steady your aim

When you shoot for something out of reach

And turn your pleas

Into bloody tear filled screams

.

I wish upon all the stars

That your wishes aren’t

Drowned by your worries

Don’t forget that fear is the enemy

Let my words wash out the negative

.

Don’t let the noises of the world

Interfere with my words

And don’t make any assumptions

I am just trying to weed out the corruption

And I want you to hear what I hear

.

I want you to hear past the screams

Of those who mock those who lean

On somebody to stand

We need to band

Together to get through

.

But what is important is that you do get through

And don’t forget to move

And those who get the farthest

Are those who were helped the most

This message shouldn’t be new to you

.

You can only strain hope

If you are grasping for any sort of hope

That things can be better

Then your fury filled letters

That you will never again read

.

Don’t settle for anything less than satisfaction

Even though everybody preaches perfection

You can be happy with falling short of the impossible

Because happiness is not so impossible

As the media would have you believe

.

I hope the hope you are straining

Leaves you smiling

And that the words on this page

Are not coming too late

But I don’t know you

.

Nothing can stop you, even what you have been through

And you have an eternity of possibilities set before you

The point is you are here, breathing, living

And working for your next dream

And I am proud of you

.

People don’t get this far

Without getting scarred

Life is not a piece of cake

It’s an uphill climb in every way

But I know that the view is worth it

.

And so I will let you know

That I will tell you no

If you decide to give up

And I will not pass up

The opportunity  to spread light

.

I know you have the strength

And so I will wait

As you strain my hope

And lay on the slope

Of life

.

And when you stand

I will be there to help you find

Your strength to continue

And wishing I could do

More than this

.

Now I leave you all

And thankyou for the fall

And rise of emotions

This class has given

And thankyou

.

Thankyou for teaching me

Who I want to be

Even if it is not

One of you

Thankyou

.

And don’t forget to strain the hope

Out of the things you open

Your mind up to

And I wish you 

Will have the will to achieve your dreams

.

-Starlight

(sorry for the hecka long poem, and I am not satisfied with this as my post, I will be posting again)

Time no longer has meaning

Days are simply a word

Weeks might possess meaning

If you cared

.

The setting and rising of the sun

Is your clock

Even as you notice the 

Days changing

You don’t

.

Change happens outside

Of this place

Change happens out there

In the live world

.

Change happens when 

People start going to work again

Change happens when 

You can talk to your friends

In person

.

For now everything has stopped

And you find yourself in a loop

Craving the sound of another person’s voice

But knowing you have to stay 6 feet away

.

And the only social interaction

You get

Is through a screen

And you know that

It can never be the same

.

You are in a state of indifference

Or constant panic

A state where everybody realizes

They are a little bit bipolar

.

It’s concerning and numbing

But you cant forget 

To cherish those things

You care about

.

Just because you are apart

Doesn’t mean you are apart

Do you get me?

Let memories

Become your favorite form of entertainment

.

Because you have ran out of

Regular entertainment

The sound of the TV makes you want to scream

And social media hasn’t stopped being toxic

.

And no board games

Can take away your boredom

And just because you have your family

Doesn’t mean you aren’t alone

.

So you fall into a rhythm

Of not being present

Replaying your memories

Like a child rewatching their favorite movie

.

And it works for a while

But every so often

You freeze, and see the interior of your room

And realize you are alone

.

And the pain becomes unbearable then

And I dont judge you

For trying to distract yourself

You learn new talents 

And listen to new songs

.

Even though your mind 

Has been stuck on the same song 

For a month

And it will be

For a month to come

.

You don’t know where you going

And you are scared

Of remembering what you had

And the pain that comes

With losing it

.

Things that meant so much

Seem trivial

You laugh at your ACT score

And go days without checking your classes

.

Because the things 

You do care about

Are outside in the changing world

But you can’t change

.

You are stuck in a loop

That switches between

Indifference to panic

Like night to day

.

And I am sorry

.

Don’t let me discourage 

You from trying to change

Because I like to believe

Some of us can

.

And you lucky few 

Please tell us

How to break the loop

But until then

Stay 6 feet away

The sun streamed through the water, with spears of heavenly light. Piercing the shallow pond, and setting the watery world alight with golden yellow light that illuminated the turquoise water, and vibrant green fish. Life spun in harmony with the rays of light. I didn’t care at this time. I didn’t care about treasure or fate, I thought the light was pretty, but wouldn’t spare a glance for the metallic box that it reflected off of. 

Buried treasure was of no concern to me. It was not something I wanted, and I knew others searched for it, and I would mock them for wanting something that only held worldly wealth, and no personal value. But I would tell them how to find what I had found. How to navigate the sometimes murky underwater world, to claim the supposedly mysterious box. But they could never find it, I brought some people right up to it, and pointed, but they couldn’t see it. No matter, it was still of no concern to me. I was not one to search for things that had been locked away.

It would be many years of living in this beautiful underwater world, until I stumbled upon the box again. The Sunshine led me there, it sliced the water like a knife, making the object it hit light up with a golden glow. 

At this time I was just beginning to understand my immortality. And knew nothing in the box could harm me, and nothing in the box could satisfy me, I didn’t want anything to do with it. You are probably assuming I am some kind of fish, or some sort of immortal prehistoric creature, like a loch ness monster. I am neither, I am more of a concept then a being, more of force, then a living thing. And I was not about to be tempted by a mortal’s mystery to open a box like this, except the Sunshine kept shining on it. 

The thing with treasure is that it sings to you though, and sometimes it’s song is more alluring then the reflective metal surface. The hopes of what the box contained entranced me, I had never dreamed before this, I had never hoped for anything better then what I had, what could be better than immortality?

So I once again passed it by. It would be a long three days, before I returned to the box. The Sunshine no longer shined anywhere else, and anywhere I went about the pond, the box glowed like a beacon, or maybe it just seemed that way to me. I found myself picking it up, manifesting hands made of contained streams of water. It was a little feat for me to pick it up, the physical world was nothing to me, as should the contents of this box mean nothing to me.

I was not curious! Immortals didn’t get curious! Curiosity was something of passion filled mortals. And yet there I was, holding the box. If I had known what opening it would have done… I would have opened it the first time I found it. 

That day, the Sunshine intensified, and the box became like the sun itself. Demanding to be acknowledged, demanding me to open it. And so I did. 

I look at you

But I don’t see you

I look at myself

And I see you

But don’t realize it

.

My brother once told me

That magic

Was only an absence

Of logic

And so I am trying to kill logic

.

I am trying to do

The impossible

To prove it can be done

If one sacrifices

Everything they know to be true

.

Sometimes I laugh

At what I have tried

To do here

Sometimes I find it funny

How hard I try

.

Sometimes I am surprised

At how easy the lies 

Slip out these days

And at how flexible

The truth is seeming

.

I dont know what to do

And a part of me is crying

As the other is cheering

A part of me is watching

As another part is acting

.

Acting to try 

And prove logic wrong

To create magic

With wishes

And tear filled pleas

.

A network of lies

Is holding up my dreams

And I am scared

And a part of me

Knows something else is there

.

Something else is holding 

Up my dreams

And I hope it is 

The man upstairs

And I feel it is

.

And then I realize

That is illogical

But it is true

And with a start

I realize something

.

My dreams are held up

By magic 

And my lies

Are a product of my fears

And so I have to trust

.

And let go

Of the lies

Relying on magic

And trust in

The man upstairs

.

Because if he doesn’t 

Know what is best for me

Then no one does

And this thought

Comforts my panicking mind

.

As my grip on the tethers

Of my lies weaken

And I let go

And the weak lies evaporate

And with it something else

.

Something I had thought

Had been part of the dream

But right now

It wasn’t

Because I still had what was important

.

Her love

Content Warning: Blood, and self harm I guess

I plunged the knife deep into my arm, and pain exploded from it, sending waves of panic through my mind, and the muscles in my arm panicking. It hit bone, and I involuntarily shuddered, shifting the blade so it slid by my forearm bone, until it broke skin on the other side. And with a pained look on my face, I looked up to see if she had done it, her arm was a twin of mine. Crimson blood creating puddles underneath our arms, blood that spilled from our fingers and elbows. 

[Now I know what you are thinking. This dudes a psycho! Someone call his therapist! First things first, I don’t have a therapist, second, anything that could be seen as psycho, could only lead to an extraordinary story. You already think I am crazy, and don’t expect anything less, so lets ride with that.]

I immediately pulled the blade from her arm, and used bandages nearby to start drying her bloody arm. The bloodied blade was already glowing from absorbing her magic, all of it, containing it. My left arm didn’t work properly as an identical dagger was still sticking from it. She pulled it out, completing the ritual, laying it next to her blade as I applied ointment to her cut, and wrapped the bandage tighter. 

“I am sorry it had to come to this.” I whispered.

“It was my idea? Was it not.” She said.

“You’re idea, inspired by threats directed at me.” I cried, ignoring my pain and wallowing for hers. I knew she hurt, I could see her flinching as I wrapped her arm, and I didn’t have to look at her face to know she was crying, but I still did look. She was beautiful, and tears glistened on her face, making her skin reflect like porcelain. She pulled her arm away before I could finish wrapping it.

“It was my choice, let me help your arm.” I looked at her, trying to be strong.

“I am not done with yours.” I said reaching for her arm. In response, she grabbed my bleeding arm, and swatted my other hand away, as she started applying ointment. I looked at her face as she worked, and found myself wiping away her tears with my other hand, more came, and soon I was no longer able to staunch the flow, and so I held her face with my one hand, as the other exploded in pain. 

[Great, I even threw in a little romance, but we need to expand their complicated relationship, and at the same time start to set into the magic system, and setting, let’s do that.]

The twin blades which were now glowing very brightly, lit the small room. The walls were clean, and had childrens crayon drawings pinned up. We had done this on a tarp, which had a red sheet layered over it, which almost concealed the puddles of blood, which were a tinge darker. The blades had absorbed the magic from our blood, pulling it from our bodies, even now, I felt the lack of strength, lack of confidence. The blades glowed, where they almost touched. The magic had been placed in our blood by each other, and it had gotten strong, so strong it would not fade. 

And then the mage council had showed up, demanding our magic, demanding our connection. They envied it, people scoffed at the things we had learned to do with the magic. We could do the impossible, we could set wood on fire with a touch, or freeze a glass of water with a thought, we could make the stars shine as bright as the sun, making the sky a beautiful display of celestial glory. Our connection was stronger than most adult mage pairs. Then they had threatened to kill me. And she had made the choice.

All of that power was gone now, entrapped in two twin daggers, contained. 

She finished with my arm, and we held each other’s hands, I felt something in my blood grow warm at our fingertips. The daggers grew brighter, and we let go, taking our respective daggers. 

“And so it is done.” I said, tears streaming down my face, a different pain aching inside.

[As hooks go, this is satisfactory, but I think it is too violent for the opening of a story. Am I only narrating this to try and comfort myself? Maybe.]

I just want to say

Something meaningful

Something that 

Will make you rethink

What you think about me

.

But your mind is closed

But maybe 

If  I could just say

Something meaningful

It would open

.

I want to be able 

To make the sun shine

Brighter with my words

And the world

To become kinder

.

I want to change the past

Change what has been done to you

I want to make you all 

Feel safe

And I don’t know how to do that yet

.

Because you obviously don’t 

Feel safe around me

And I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to say

And I am afraid of making it worse

.

I dont want to come off

As one of them

When I ask

For the same thing we all want

Equality

.

And so I wont say anything

But know I still wonder

What would have changed

If I had said 

Something meaningful

.

Instead of getting

Scared and intimidated

By your words

And saying things

I shouldn’t have said

.

This is my apology

And also a plead

Given out of desperation

To make it

Better again

.

My plead is simple

But it requires a lot of thought

Tell me what

“Something meaningful”

Is to you

.

What would I

Have had to say

To make your aggression

Fade to consideration

Of your actions

.

I am not accusing

Just wishing

We hadn’t ended

On such a bad note

And I am sorry

I breathed in rasping, hurried breaths, as I felt the tendrils of death seeping into my lungs. From there it spread to my heart, which pumped death’s dark touch to my limbs, where it sapped my strength. I slowed my run, and allowed my body to sink to the hard asphalt of the trail. I was uncaring of the pebbles that dug into my knees, or the rock that pressed into my palm as I leaned forward and tried to cough up the death. It had come upon me so suddenly, shooting into me through my ears. I reached up to feel if my ears were bleeding from the words spoken. My hand came away dry. Did I actually think that words would make me bleed? I rolled over on the ground, onto the grass that bordered the trail, I layed on my back, and waited for my strength to return. 

The words must have been something meaningful. Something that mattered to me, if only I could remember.

26 miles did weird things to the body and mind. I hung my head between my knees, and closed my eyes, a headache was starting to build. My teeth felt hollow, and my head felt like I had blank spots missing in my brain, where the void of unconsciousness seeped in, tempting me. The words hurt, but I couldn’t even remember what was spoken. My fingers were cold and sweaty as I ran my hand through my hair. My stomach was colder, a weird side effect of pushing your body so hard for so long. 

The darkness in my limbs wasn’t receding, I looked around, but this part of the trail wasn’t near any town. Wait where was I? Maybe the holes in my brain… were larger than I thought. I tried to stand up, but was stunned as my limbs wouldn’t respond. Why… Darkness wrapped around my mind.

I awoke an hour later. And things hurt. My right leg was aching like it got run over, and my left arm was wrapped in bandages, and blood seeped from one. It was in a sling across my chest. I stood and looked around, the trail was still empty, what had happened? I took a step and my right foot gave way, and I crashed to the ground, accidentally rolling on my bandaged arm. It exploded with pain, as my foot smarted. I screamed in pain, but mostly I was surprised. I was no stranger to pain, but this, this would keep my mind locked in my head. And so I cried out of fear, if only I knew, how much more I should have cried.

This is getting dangerous

Can you tell

The darkness

Is getting darker then usual

.

And the words that just 

Seemed repetitive

Are turning destructive

This is getting dangerous

.

I don’t know what to do

I promised myself 

I wouldn’t care for you

Lost writers

.

But this is getting dangerous

And I want to

Get you out of danger

So please just listen

.

Just because you have a voice

Doesn’t mean you have to yell

And just because you are hurt

Doesn’t mean you are a victim

.

Dangerous is darkness

And lingering in the darkness

Will not make it

Any lighter

.

You can’t change the darkness

You can only change

Which way you are facing

So please don’t be dangerous

.

You have a choice of

Facing light or dark

And sometimes

There is more dark than light

.

But that doesn’t mean

The light isn’t there

So please stop my worrying

And face the light

.

The darkness will not go away

But that is how it is supposed to be

We are not banishing darkness

Just learning to live with it

.

Light creates shadow

And sometimes the shadow seems

Larger then the light creating it

So please stop being dangerous

.

I promised myself

I wouldn’t care for you

Lost writers

But sometimes you are all I have

.

So please stop being dangerous

-Not Starlight

Wind whipped around us, grabbing at our clothes, and my hair. It brought with it scents of dirt, and growth, I wrinkled my nose on instinct. He smiled, and breathed in deeper, closing his eyes. He lived off this earthy mountain air. I found myself watching him with a strange fascination, his eyes snapped open, and to my horror, he walked up to the edge of the mountain. The hike had been long and torturous, and he had loved every minute of it, absorbing nature, like a sunflower absorbing the sunshine.

He had dragged me out here, saying it was bad to spend day after day alone in my apartment. He didn’t know what I had tried to do the other night. He didn’t know that I had tried to take my own life. A darkness clung to my mind, that he could sense, but not see.

He stood on the edge of the cliff, arms outstretched, as if he planned on grabbing the sky itself. And for a second, I almost thought he would. He turned back to look at me.

“Why do you look so scared?” He asked, curious, a hint of a smirk on his stupid face. 

“Don’t be so dangerous.” I said, glaring at him.

“But which one of us is really in danger?” He said, a look of concern coming on his face. He stepped away from the drop that would certainly bring about his death

Or mine, the thought forced its way in. 

“Which one of us is really in danger?” He asked again, not aggressive, just insistent. My heart suddenly seized as I opened my mouth to tell him, my mind panicked, and I closed my mouth as my mind rebelled. 

I can’t tell him how weak I am. I stammered, as I tried to answer him.

“I brought you here, to get you out of danger.” He said, watching me again. I opened my mouth, and looked down. 

“Thankyou for getting me out of danger.” I said quietly, the words were so hard!

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Yes please.”

-Not Starlight

You flinch 

And look over your shoulder

And you thought you saw

But no, that would be impossible

.

It was just your reflection

Like an optical illusion

Just seeing what you wish 

Was there

.

It happens again

A glimpse of a slight figure

Shorter than you

That is all too familiar

.

And maybe it was too familiar

Because you just find 

Your reflection

Staring back at you

.

You turn away

And close your eyes

If you can’t see

Then your eyes can’t torture you

.

With glimpses

Of the person you wish

You were with

But that is not enough

.

A warm wind whips by

Curling around your hand

Making your hand 

Grip what you hope was hers

.

But your hand closes

On empty air

That makes your heart

Pound in your chest

.

You open your eyes

And realize you are crying

As your eyes betray you

And the wind tricks you

.

You look around

The sun is bright

And the wind is slowing down

And your heart speeds up

.

You hear her voice

Another illusion undoubtedly

You still turn

And hope it all isn’t a trick

.

The sun blinds you

And the wind curls around your hands

And you hear her voice

Calling your name

.

Then it all vanishes

The wind collapsing

The voice in your head fading

And the glare from the sun shifting

.

It was just your reflection

But maybe your reflection

Is what you need

Even though it’s not her

.

You see her necklace 

Around your neck

And you realize you are holding something

Her heart